We are heading to South America (Buenos Aires to be exact) to learn about the child killer Cayetano Santos Godino – and by child killer we literally mean a child that kills. Then Rachel tells us the incredible story of Edgar Allen Poe’s life and mysterious death. Hopefully, you’re horrified.
Trigger Warning: extreme violence, violence to children, child death, assault
Hi, welcome to horrible history. I’m Rachel Everett.
And I’m Emily Barlean Haaaapy day?
What are you trying to say? Emily spent the day doing yard work. For those of you following along from last week, I did survive the baby shower. Yeah. Great.
So I overdid it doing yard work today. My whole body hurts. And I wish I was laying down right now, but I’m not. Okay.
Well, I did a lot because like, we had to, like, throw the party and clean up after the party, and, you know, all of that good stuff. But I mean, we had a lot of people here to help like, my friends who are having the baby have a lot of really great friends who are like, what can I carry? Like, you don’t have to lift it, whatever. And I was like, I mean, I’m not gonna say no.
I didn’t get too many cupcakes though. And now am wearing our morbid curious crew sweatpants. The joggers. Our friend Brit texted us in a group chat and was like, Listen, you gotta tell me the real scoop on the joggers. They’re so fucking comfortable. Yeah. And they are cozy. And I told her that I was like, this is this is the thing. And she was like done. They are very comfortable. harbor history. podcast.com.
We’ve got all of your stuff, all the merch. So far, it’s all good quality I actually am sitting here with my humblebrag I’ve crippling anxiety mug. And I’ve washed it in the dishwasher a couple times. And it’s like, no issues. I mean, not that it would have anything but you know, you always worry. You worry. But it’s like, I don’t know. I’ve ordered things before where they come and it’s like, it’s a sticker or
Yeah, not dishwasher safe.
Yeah, this is like, part of the design. So um, yeah, no issues. It’s awesome.
I don’t have time in my life anymore. For not dishwasher safe.
I don’t do anything. If there’s something that has like, too much gunk on it to where I would just wash it by hand. I either just throw it away, or I just put in the dishwasher until it’s done. Like I just run it several times until finally it’s clean.
Yeah, yeah. The only thing I don’t run in the dishwasher is my China and in fairness, it’s like a family heirloom situation. Like my grandma. my great grandparents brought it over from Denmark. So I’m like, fine. I’ll wash that by hand. But that’s it.
Yeah, maybe my cast iron skillet because you’re not. You know, but like, I don’t even barely use that.
Yeah, no, I don’t put soap on that. So it’s like, well, they’re so heavy.
How are you supposed to lift it? Sure. Yeah,
yeah. Anyhow, speaking of heavy I know you have something heavy for us today.
I do. I am going to Buenos Aires today and Argentina. I love it.
I think we’ve been once before you went for something.
Yeah. delfina is one of our very loyal listeners. And she sent us some stories to read on where in the world for Patreon.
Yeah, thank you so much delfina for sending those stories. And we want to ask everyone to send in their stories, their travel stories for us to share on where in the world. Send them in and then check us out.
Okay, but yeah, delfina sent us the Yiya Murano st ory.
Oh right – Yiya Murano. right, right. The grandma killer grandma’s?
Yeah, Stone Cold killers. Okay, um, so I’m doing like the opposite of grandma. And I’ll explain that more later. Okay. First, though, let’s talk about what we would do if I was in charge of planning our trip to Buenos Aires. Okay,
you’re like you’re not in charge this time, bitch. Boom.
We’re horseback riding. No, we’re not. Um, okay. So first, I would say we would head over to El Zanjón de Granados for insight into Buenos Aires bar stretching 500 year history, which for from the outside the building looks like an immense lavish mansion. But beneath this big glamorous structure, there is like a historic glimpse into their past. And you can traverse through a maze of Spanish settlements underground. Crazy.
So I guess the tour guides take you on this tour. And they like tell you these tales of the city’s history. And then you go into this like network of underground tunnels where you get to look artifacts and flooring and walls from like back then and you know, they tell you stories you can decide if you believe them or not, you know, like, kind of a cool history esque situation plus who doesn’t want to go see a big ass mansion and then go underground tunnel tour. Everyone wants that.
No one doesn’t want that. Exactly. That was terrible grammar. Everyone wants that.
No one doesn’t want it. Yeah. We would also if it were me want to spend hours wandering the grounds of Recoleta cemetery, which is a cemetery that has a lot of Argentina’s wealthy people there. And did you already talk about this? Is that what you’re talking about? That’s hilarious. I’m like, it sounds familiar. But I’m like, How am I supposed to remember? But you actually have a lot of places. Yeah, it was a long time ago. You’re just you just smiled like, I know what that is.
Because they have this like mausoleums that Yeah, around and they’re Did you see a picture? They’re really cool. They’re
insane. And it covers like four city blocks. Yes. There’s like 6400 mausoleums, and they’re all like, Italian kiss like gorgeous darling. Yeah, they are.
Insane that we would both plan a trip that included a visit to a ritzy cemetery. Yeah, it’s very creepy and bougie. Our new tagline for horrible history? Creepy and bougie… and very vanilla.
Yes. So one thing that I didn’t know about Argentina, but I read it like a million times was that no trip there would be complete without a perfectly cooked mouthwatering steak. So Alright, so we could head to
Cabaña Las Lilas. Lastly, yes, which is on the waterfront. And it has really beautiful views. And it’s well known as the best steak in Buenos Aires. So I would be pumped to go have a great steak. And you might have said this before, and I just forgot because my brain is slow but like, I didn’t remember that malbecwas their national wine. Yep. And so I’m like hell yeah. I love Malbec. It’s my favorite.
So like let’s go in the winter? Malbec is a winter wine.
It’s an always wine for me. I just drink red wine year round. No opinion. But um, so yeah, we can eat steak. We can go see creepy cemetery. Maybe do the underground tunnel tour. And just in general, have a blast blast.
We’re gonna meet delfina when we go to Buenos Aires delfina you’re gonna take us around. Show
us what to do.
Unknown Speaker 7:53
I love it.
We need to. Yeah, okay. On to the creepy part. So okay, today, I’m going to tell you a relatively short, but creepy, creepy story about a ruthless serial killer. And true psychopath.Cayetano Santos Godino.
Never heard of them.
I know. And after reading about his insanely brutal murders, I was kind of surprised. I’ve never heard of him because, boy as a true psychopath. I was even more surprised when I found out that this killer is a child killer.
As in he kills children or he is a child.
I do not mean that he kills children. I mean that he is a child that killed from the ages of seven to 16 says when he did his crimes, seven. Okay, like that’s like in three years of Lincoln decided to become a murderer. Like, seven is little?
No, I don’t like to put that evil on me. Lincoln threw a tantrum today, because his pants got wet and decided to. And I think it was more about I mean, my kids have been in COVID for the past, you know, 18 months. Like, where are these people here? Yeah, I mean, the party was outdoors. Like, you know, we know Delta. Everybody’s vaccinated. My kids aren’t but they can’t be not because they’re choosing not to. But regardless, like, he was so upset, his pants got wet. He like he just ran out to his room and he hid under his bed for like 30 minutes and didn’t want to talk and was in his feelings. And he also has some, you know, sensory processing stuff. So that makes sense. And overall, lots of stimuli. But to see that kid as a psychopath, kill me.
I tried to like kill someone and he gets a little blood on him. And he’s like, like, goes somewhere. It’s like, Oh, no!
I think that world is safe from my son. Yeah.
Not a killer – thank god.
I mean, he does do like multiplication on his tablet and he’s four. So maybe the world is not saved from the next Jeffrey Bezos But he’s not going to kill you. Hopefully he provides for me.
Wait, that’s not well, but I just wanna be part of the family. Okay.
Yeah, when he buys me my mansion, you can move in.
He can support me.
Like the Golden Girls. It’ll be great. Gosh, I love that idea. Thank you for being my son.
Thank you for being m My friend’s son.
All right, tell me we are we are putting off because that sounds terrible. But tell me about the child killer.
Okay, Cayetano Santos Godino was born in 1896, to an Italian immigrant family that had eight boys, yuck, and very abusive alcoholic parents. So that was destitute. Santos, which is what Cayetano as known as he was actually known by his middle name Santos. He actually suffered from really poor health because his father had syphilis. And so I guess that affected him when he was born, which I honestly did not know was the thing, but I guess
it makes sense. Because you can pass like, HIV or different, you know, sexually transmitted diseases through Yeah, placenta. But if his father had syphilis, not his mother, I don’t know. That’s interesting. Who knows.
But basically, from the moment he was old enough to start going to school, like documentation begins revealing his like warning signs, early warning signs of predatory and homicidal behavior. So like, from when he was even younger than seven, which is crazy. Yeah. He of course, like, bounced from school to school, because no one teachers, staff, his parents knew how to manage his behavior. And he was super disinterested in education. He didn’t really want to be in school. didn’t give two shits about it. So he kind of just like wandered the streets. Honestly, instead of going to school. And house no
further streets for a small child.
Guess when you’re a murderous one there, okay. He’s like, Come at me, bro. You know, he’s like that kangaroo.
Like the streets are not safe from Santos. Yeah, that jaccked kangeroo. Yeah.
Come at me.
And that, so yeah, he’s like, I don’t want to go home because I get abused there. And I don’t want to go to school because I give no shits about it. So he just wandered the school or wandered the streets and tortured and killed small animals. like cats and birds. Yeah,
it’s a serial killer red flag.
Yes, it is. Man. His father actually often found dead birds in his son shoes, and under the boy’s bed, so he would like bring them home and keep them in like small spaces and stuff, which is like this. Yeah, he also began setting fires whenever he could get his hands on a match another flag flag from the triangle. And he was just a mean little boy.
Did he wet the bed? Is that the other one the head injury?
wetting the bed is the third of the triangle. But McDonald’s triad.
Yeah. It’s not listed. But let’s just assume so. Yeah, he’s got all the other red flags.
Let’s just go ahead and give this kid serial killer. Bingo.
There you go. Yeah. So he was mean, he was not just a bully, but he was like, scary mean. For example, it starts at seven. Santos severely beat a two year old boy and tossed the body into a ditch of thorny bushes.
The body like did he kill this boy?
Luckily, no, the boy did not die. A witness caught them like saw him throw this little boy into a ditch. And they took both of the little boys, both little boys because seven and two to the police station where, you know, both of their parents just came and picked him on up. Because No, I mean, no one’s gonna press charges against a seven year old. It’s like, Well, I mean, maybe you should like you probably should have if you know retrospectively, but yeah, yeah, I’m sure it was just like You need to tell him that was wrong, you know, or whatever. But
but there’s a difference between because like, my kids are close in age, obviously they put hands on each other they engage a little bit of sibling fisticuffs. Yeah. But it’s very much like, quick like, boom, boom, boom. And sometimes they’ll like us those kind of comic book sound effects, you know, yeah. That to each other and then run away because they don’t want to get in trouble. Right. You know, maybe it’s not for a good conscience reason, but it’s, you know, they don’t just like, beat until somebody’s like, laying on the ground laying there. Yeah, like crying for mercy. Like, that’s not a normal child behavior. Yeah.
Yeah. The added of like seeking out a location to throw them where it will hurt them even more.
Yeah, no, that’s not that’s not normal, like sibling wrestling.
Yeah, exactly. But the police sent them on their way. But of course, the family by now was privy to his behavior. So they are kind of like, Oh, God, like it’s getting worse, essentially. And police intervention obviously did not help. Because the next year at eight years old, officers stopped him from pounding rocks into the body of a little girl. A much younger child. But again, he was eight. So they call this family and sent him home with them. But that like he didn’t stop. It just escalates. It just keeps getting much worse. Next, he’s caught holding a lit cigarette to the eyelids of a two year old. What the fuck yeah. And then the baby was obviously screaming in anguish. And the mom comes running and like catches it a Santos in the act. But he escapes, like, runs away and doesn’t, you know, whatever. Finally, he was actually arrested for the first time, because he was trying to drown a two year old and a horse trough.
Where’s he getting access to all of these toddlers? That’s what I want to know.
I know. It must just be like, I’m just like, picturing a community from back then, like, go play together. Everyone’s hands just living at one in one. And he’s like, roaming the streets and finding kids playing in their yard or whatever.
Yeah, I guess but like, and maybe I mean, it was a different time, because this would have been what like nine times? Oh, yeah. Three years? Yeah, I mean, maybe it was just a different time. But I can’t imagine just telling even my three and four year old just go play in the front yard, mommy. I’ll be right here.
Right now. two twos really little, like maybe he’s getting into people’s houses. Like maybe he’s just like walking inside. You know, I mean, he obviously has no remorse or concern for rules. So yeah, I don’t know. Or maybe he’s a neighbor, kid. And they’re like, oh, Santos is here. Go play with him. Like maybe. I don’t know how well the parents like kept it under wraps.
Yeah. And I mean, I guess cuz even today. I mean, granted, there were a lot of other adults around, like I went inside to check on Lincoln, who was, you know, screaming. And Vera went outside to like, jump on our little trampoline with a couple of big kids who were like, if I had to guess, like 6789, like, somewhere around there. And when I came back outside to check on her, and again, lots of adults around lots of supervision, people I know and trust, but the older kid who was maybe 11 or so it’s like, Where the hell is Vera? She was on the trampoline. Like, this cute little kid with braces is like pushing Vera and this swing. Oh, yeah. Geez. Oh. So cute. That’s just so sweet little boy. But so you know, like, older kids usually are very sweet with toddlers.
Yeah. You don’t expect an eight year old to attack your baby yet? Absolutely. Not. Not the first first instinct there. Unfortunately. So we’re now at what three, maybe four kids that he’s abused, almost killed. But he’s still he’s arrested but he’s not put behind bars. At this point. It’s just still more of like, getting them off, like out of the situation and getting him to a point where he can be sent home with his parents. Sure. But he did finally spend some time behind bars and this is going to just piss you off. It pissed me off. Here’s why he finally spent time behind bars, not because he held cigarettes to a child’s eyelids or pummeled them with rocks or tried to drown someone or throw a kid into a thorny bush. His parents caught him masturbating and turned him over to Cops because that was illegal back then.
Okay, listen, it’s like of all
the things and all the things he’s done really.
The one thing that he’s done, that is a normal human urge, like, sex is biologically built into us. Yeah, yes, there are people who are asexual or don’t really have that desire, but generally speaking, 99% of the population has sexual desire.
Yeah. And kids at that age are curious flooring and try and figure out what it is, you know. And yeah, so parent, but I kind of do feel like the parents were like, oh, finally, a reason for him to go to jail. Totally. I did find this is literally from the Penal Code of the United States of Brazil from 1890. Quote, offending good manners with impudent exhibitions, obscene acts or gestures, attentive to modesty, practiced in public or attended by the public and which, without offence to individual honesty, insult and scandalizing Society was the reason it was illegal. It was like, okay, but it was a lot of flowery language.
Unknown Speaker 21:17
I don’t know. Yeah, I guess like,
if you like, whip your dick out. And there’s everyone around you being like, hey, that is dick is out. But if you’re in if you’re in your own bedroom,
yeah, exactly. Trying to remember what your terrible today was from last week, or this week, where it’s like, I was itching. Oh, I have a rash on my balls.
Yeah. Do you want to see and then? Oh, apparently he did. But
well, yeah. And I guess like his parents were constantly catching him masturbating. And so that may fall into this area of like, sure. impudent exhibitions, you know, or obscene acts like it’s constant.
Maybe it was a compulsion, you know, and it doesn’t sound like this kid gets sexual satisfaction in a way that would be appropriate or safe. Yeah, yeah. Cuz I don’t know if like any of any bit of his crimes are sexual. I haven’t heard a sexual component thus far, but still.
Yeah. Well, speaking of appropriate. This is when Santos is 10 is when he finally was put in jail for masturbating. Booking photos were taken of him nude from the front end from the side.
I do not know. But that was how they took booking photos apparently, of children of the 10 year old. Yeah. Oh,
I was like, I can’t. I can’t identify any reason why that would be necessary. Like even adults. I mean, I guess I kind of understand a strip search. Like when someone’s coming in not. It still feels inappropriate to me. But like, you know, when people bring it in and weapon I get it, but you take pictures.
No, I mean, I get like, if you’re going to try and smuggle something in and you got to be checked for it fine. That you don’t take pictures of that. You take pictures of them. And they’re like, uniform like jumpsuit? Yeah. Yeah. super weird. Yeah.
Eventually, Santos, his parents came to retrieve him when he had finished, you know, with his little mini tiny sentence. And he, they really hope that this juvenile institution had reformed him. And so they picked him up and they said, guess what, son, we found you a factory job. And so,
you know, no more wandering the streets and finding toddlers,
right? It’s like, Okay, well, he’s like, 13 go work at the factory. But he went to the factory job for a little while, a few months, maybe. And then he was like, fuck this noise. And he basically went back to the streets, but now he had learned about a little thing called alcohol. And so he was a drunk 13 year old wandering the streets fueled by fury. And so this is right about when Santos stops just being an abuser. creepo like beating kids up and doing terrible things. This is when he turns into a murderer. So, first things first, a 13 year old naked child’s corpse was found in an abandoned house. And the victim was severely beaten and had a rope tied around the throat. And although it remains a cold case, everybody suspects Santos like everyone was like, yeah, it was definitely on top of this, his love affair with fire never ended. He really just was fascinated by it. He loved The look of the red flames like shooting into the air. And it is certain that at least one of his arson charges or arson incidences resulted in death. It was in March of 1912 when a five year old girl died as the result of the burns that she suffered when he purposefully set fire to her dress. Oh my God, that’s horrible. Yeah, when I said it’s, he’s just straight up a psychopath. Like, it’s nonstop insanity. It’s crazy. He also tried to burn out a train station. But the flames got extinguished before too much damage was done. And then at age 16, he got arrested for burning down a warehouse. And he actually is quoted saying, I like to see the firemen working. It’s nice to see how they fall into the fire. Oh my god. Yeah. It’s like mythical. Like it feels like if I’m gonna write a character, that’s the worst creepiest, most awful person. This is who I would write, you know? Yeah,
these are the things they would say. And I don’t even want. I don’t have anything clever to say about that.
I know. I’m like, this is not a funny story. So I
I don’t have I don’t have jokes. Well, I know. I know. I’m hilarious. I know. I’m amazing. Sorry to let you down.
it’s not funny. It’s like all we’re doing is being like, like mowing agape like mouth. Yeah, just open like a cringe. Yeah, there were two more fires in late September, but both were extinguished before any severe damage could be done. But in between the fiery endeavors there was murder. So he was caught in November of 1912, trying to choke an eight year old boy to death. But although he was arrested, he was released while he was awaiting trial. Why?
I don’t know.
I don’t want to release him. He’s killed two people. At the very least you’ve got him on attempted. He’s probably going to attempt again.
Yeah. And he did. Because he was then caught beating a child. Eight days later, this time, a three year old.
I know. And then on the 20th. So like, again, a couple days later, a neighbor stopped him from kidnapping a two year old girl. He was just on a rampage. Like every day, he was like, What chaos Can I inflict today? Yeah, so as November turned into December, he was like, spending his last days of freedom. He was about to go and actually go to his trial and like probably be put in jail forever. So he’s out trolling for victim essentially. And he came across a little boy named Jesu, huizhou Aldo huizhou. All those yordano who was not even to yet. And Santos found him playing outside. And he offered the baby some candy, which is just creepy for, like the foresight to lure him away. Yeah. And little baby boy is like hell yeah. And like follows him. Yeah, to get more candy. And Santos led this little tiny baby to an empty building that was away from the area. And once he was inside, he shoved the baby to the floor, and tried unsuccessfully to choke him with his belt. Since that didn’t work, he bound binded he used the belt to bind just his a huizhou all those limbs. And this is when he began beating him. And then later, he decided he was going to drive a nail into the boy’s skull. They didn’t have a nail. So we left the building to go get one. And he bumped into a little boy’s father, who’s frantic and it’s like, I can’t find him. Where is he? Have you seen him? And Santos is just like, nope, haven’t seen him?
Oh my god.
Like, he’s 12 like he’s like 12 or 13. It’s maybe 16 at this point, but still, like, just totally like, nope, haven’t seen him. And then he returned to the crime scene with a nail A brick to use as a hammer and hammered into his skull and killed him. Then he tried to hide the dead body. But he didn’t do a very good job. But so he tried to hide it and then left. And then the baby’s father was still searching and found his son, like within 15 minutes of all that happening. And so then Santos was like, fully arrested. And he just like, readily admitted to the crime. He was like, Oh, yeah, I did that. Wow. And he also admitted that when he was 10, he had abducted a three year old named Maria, who he had tried to strangle, but not succeeded. And so he buried her alive. a three year old hook. This guy is like, maybe the evil this person I’ve ever. I don’t know, I’m just flabbergasted me.
I don’t have words, like it’s all of the horrible things that you could even think of.
I know. I know. While I was writing this, I was like, I’m like, I’m just going to keep this relatively short, because I don’t know how much I can hear about it all. Yeah, we’re almost done. So this might be the only thing that’s semi funny, but also offensive is that he apparently earned the moniker elpa tiso. Or Hutto, which translated is the big eared midgett, which I do not think midgett is an appropriate or politically correct term, because this is also 1906. And it may be a translation thing to you know, right. Or it may just be, you know, a derogatory statement, but
but they’re basically like, he was
little and he had big ears. Yeah, he was protruding ears and a small stature. And so they call them witches.
Like, every 12 year old or,
like, he’s a kid. What do you expect?
Nobody looks cute when they’re 12.
Right? Especially not then like, Oh, God. Yeah,
maybe now, we didn’t have YouTube. Okay, now.
Oh my god. Now 13 year olds are like, so precious and cute and like fashionable. And I was like wearing braces and like, hey, look at me. I could Yes. Coolmthing. Yeah. And so he was actually declared mentally disabled and unaware of his actions with john like,
it sounds like he was pretty aware. But he didn’t try to hide it. And remember, that’s the time that you plead insanity is if you tried, or you can’t get away with pleading insanity. It’s if you try and you’re like, yeah, you tried to cover it up exam. Right, right.
But he was sent to a mental health facility in January of 1913, where he was interviewed by doctors and declared legally insane, which I’m just like, yeah, I mean,
like, he’s definitely not thinking like a sane person would think so I know. I don’t know the parameters for how to declare somebody legally insane. But no, I mean, I’m not arguing. No, exactly.
It was proved that he could not stay out of trouble, even in a reformatory because he picked up another attempted murder charge when he tried to kill a few of his fellow patients. Sure, but still, a judge ruled that he was unable to understand his actions, which I’m still just baffled by. Eventually, the Chamber of appeals overturned the ruling in 1915 and sentenced him to life in prison. So silver lining I don’t know. So in March of 1923, they actually had him transferred to shoe a prison. And his penchant for blood lesson fire were unabated. The inmates there had two cats that they took care of behind bars, like fed them and took care of them. A lot of times prisons have that, you know, it’s like a part of a rehabilitation thing.
Listen, I think animals make us better. We don’t deserve animals, like, and I know where this is going. Because this is a child who likes to torture animals.
Hey, he in 1933 So at this point, he’s in his 30s Yeah, well, still beat the cats to death and toss them into the fire. Which I’m like, who gave him fire? Like what the hell Why? Why did you I let the cats into his Sal I don’t understand. But the inmates were outraged because these cats were like their mascots kind of and this time, they happened to be locked into a similar room with him and there were about 600 disgusted individuals with him who wanted revenge. And so officers found him beaten and close to death after that incident. I bet so most of 1933 he was in hospital. From that beating, and once he was released, he basically was released from the hospital back to just like the normal president. He was just pretty much sick. Like he had such long lasting results from the beating that he was just sick. And then in 1944 he died under, quote, mysterious circumstances. But legally, it was listed as internal bleeding due to gastritis. But I don’t know I kind of feel like maybe the inmates took matters into their own hands.
Maybe they finished the job that they have right to start.
Yeah. And so that is the horrific and creepy story of Santos gaudino. The KPS of all creepy child killers that I’ve ever heard of. Yay, Buenos Aires.
I still want to go there, but not Yeah, not an 18 whatever. 1907 like I don’t want a time machine. Now.
Just gives me the heebie jeebies. I don’t like it. Yeah. All right. Let’s liven this up.
Shake it off. Shake it off. I know. Yeah. less creepy story. Creepy, but like more, more macbre.
more macobre not so much horrific. Terrible. Kind of give me nightmares kind of things. Cool.
Yeah, but I did learn some things. Today we’re going to Baltimore, Maryland. Have you been?
I don’t think so. I don’t think I’ve been to Baltimore.
I haven’t either, but it looks really cute. really pretty. So I’m going to tell you about it. So if I’m planning our trip to Baltimore, I’m starting us off at the Sagamore spirit distillery.
this place is amazing. It sits right on the water. So we’ve got used for days and of course, whiskey
love it love bourbon. We obviously would have to do a tasting and I’d want to tour the distillery as well, because that is one of my favorite dorky things. Love it. I may not ever want to know how the sausage is made. But if you take me to a brewery or distillery on a guided tour, I am here for it.
If we ever go for any reason, back to St. Louis. Like if I’m in St. Louis, and you come to St. Louis, or if we’re on a tour, and we go to St. Louis. We’ll have to do the AB tour because it is. It’s just fun. Like it’s just a fun tour.
There’s a good the course tour in Denver is really fun, too. And there’s like they give you like three free drink tickets. And it’s free for everything. It’s really fun.
But oh, AB is it’s awesome. You get Yeah, booze and it’s a free tour and you get to see the Clydesdales, which I love.
Oh, that’s fun. Yeah, well, we’ll plan like when, when we visit next, maybe when you come out for my birthday, we’ll go out to Golden and do that, though. Okay. So they also boast a ton of classes including cocktail making classes, which is cool. waterfront yoga, whoa, whiskey and yoga. This place is my dream.
This is interesting because to me a whiskey distillery. I mean, totally stereotypically, but would be directed and marketed towards men. Yeah, but this seems like a female’s. Right. But you know, like, yeah, I mean, men do yoga, but like, not as much as women.
Yeah, well, and I almost wonder because it looked like it was outdoor yoga. If they’re like, hey, gentlemen, come have a drink and see some yoga pants.
Oh, look, this lady’s bending over.
For dinner, we’re going to Sally OHS, which is rated highly as one of the best restaurants in Baltimore. Now full disclosure, I had a stomach bug when I wrote this story. So it’s hard to say how accurate my palate will be for when we actually go. I’m thinking I want the crab. Oh, Nora. Oh, like carbonara but crab with crab. Yeah, so we’re on the water. So why not seafood? The crab inara is jumbo lump crab. Red onion, garlic, bacon, thyme, egg yolk, spaghetti parmesan and black pepper.
hard to go wrong with a carbonara. Are you a crab like do you like crab and like crunching the legs and like getting the me out?
I don’t know that I’ve ever actually done that
one time when I was like 16 maybe we went to like a Joe’s Crab Shack or something. And they had unlimited crab legs that day. And the I was like super struggling. We’ve never had crab legs really before. And the waitress came over and like taught us how to use the tools and like really get that out and ever since then. I’m like, I like some crab legs. It’s like a challenge to get like the full piece of meat out of the leg. It’s
like I did it. Yes. Teach me. I love fun. Baltimore is also known for its history. So it has a ton of museums. So we could check out the Museum of industry. They have a they have a wax museum called great blacks and wax about black, which I think is really cool. Blacks and wax Yeah, the Star Spangled Banner flag house of the National Museum of dentistry like they have, okay, insane amount of museums. Or we could swing by the Edgar Allan Poe house and museum and learn about the crazy life and mysterious death of Edgar Allan Poe. Or just, you know, like, buckle up your AirPods because I’m about to tell you about it. Yeah, go. Oh,
I know nothing about Edgar Allan Poe other than his, like poetry. So
yes. Let’s start with who Edgar Allan Poe was. Edgar was born on January 19 1809. In Boston. Okay, our favorite place to threepeat. His life started out pretty rough. His father nope data there when that when Edgar was just a little guy. Then, when he was three, his mother died from tuberculosis. Edgar had a brother, William and a sister, Rosalie, both of whom he was separated from after his mother died. So dad is gone. Mom dies, siblings all end up in different places. Not great sad. It’s really sad. Edgar went to live with john and Francis Allen Allen and Edgar Allan Poe in Richmond, Virginia. So they were foster parents. I don’t think they ever legally adopted him. Edgar bonded with his maternal figure, Francis, but he had a really difficult relationship with john at 13. Edgar was already showing crazy talent at poetry. He was discouraged from the life of a starving artist by his school’s headmaster, and by his foster dad, john Allen, who wanted Edgar to join him in the family business, which was he was a tobacco merchant. Allegedly. One of the ways that Edgar rebelled against his father figure was by writing some of his poetry on the backs of John’s business papers. What do you make him work? Which I just got to give it? That’s amazing. I
bet like if any of that is existing, like if it’s lasted, like how cool that’d be to have a piece of that, man, they’d go crazy for that at the Antiques Roadshow. Like this is an original Edgar Allan Poe written on the back of a tax for you
were the oldest 30 something I think, the roadshow with love it.
I lived with my parents for a year recently. And that’s all we did. We watched Antiques Roadshow and we look forward several years. Yeah, he did. And I realized retirement sounds great.
Sounds kind of nice. Yeah, are Golden Girls life is sounding better and better.
It’s gonna be awesome.
1826 Edgar went to the University of Virginia where he excelled academically. But for whatever reason, john didn’t give Edgar enough money to pay for all of his school expenses, which seems weird, because from what I could tell in the research, john Allen was fairly successful. But I also read that he was kind of miserly. Regardless, I read that he paid for about a third of all of Edgar school costs. So Edgar is all thinking he’s going to double his school money through gambling, which
always ends well, it’s great every time only if you can count cards
60% of the time, it works every time. No, he ended up in debt, like a lot of debt. At one point, he was so impoverished that he burned his furniture for more. Oh, yeah, like very, very impoverished. Adding insult to injury, Edgar went home to see that his neighbor, who also happened to be his fiance, named Sarah Elmira, Royster had decided to get engaged to some other dude while Edgar was away at school burned his furniture.
Yeah, so Edgar said, fuck it. I’m going back to Boston, allegedly.
Is this story in Boston?
Ah, no, no, no, no part of it. Yeah, it’s all over the place. But he died in Baltimore, which is why I made it Baltimore cuz his death is insane. He self published his book, in his first book The next year, which was 1827, called Tamerlane and other poems. That same year, he decided to join the army, which felt like it was a little out of character for him, because I always think of Edgar Allan Poe is kind of a subversive figure. But it makes sense when you think about a kid or a young adult trying to figure out his life and needing money to do so. All right, like lost lots of lost young people because he’s like, 1819. At this point, he’s like, I guess I’ll join the army.
Yeah, it’s a good outlet for a lot of people.
Yeah, for sure. If you’re like, I don’t know what I want to do, but I want to do something with my life totally. Not that you can join the army because you know, you want to be in the Army or the military in general was or I don’t know.
Yeah, no, I know what you mean. Our people know what you mean?
Yeah. After a couple of years with the military. Edgar got the news that his foster mother, Francis Allen was dying of tuberculosis, which is the center to the mountains, right, southern Colorado out west. It was the same thing that his biological mother had passed away from
trauma and trauma. No. He went
back to Richmond to say goodbye to her, but he was too late. Francis died before Edgar could get home to see her. Oh, that’s so sad. Yeah, there was a tiny silver lining where Edgar and john did a little trauma bonding. And john Allan helped Edgar get into West Point. Military Academy where of course he excelled academically. But he got kicked out a year later because he didn’t handle his duties. Well. Unfortunately, Frances death did not bond Edgar and john together permanently. When Edgar was at West Point, john secretly got married. I’m not sure if it was a secret from everyone. But for sure, he didn’t tell Edgar
what’s up. But people always with these secret marriages and engagements God did.
I have no idea. But allegedly, Edgar got expelled on purpose to spite john. And at this point, john cut ties with Edgar permanently wants nothing else to do with them. Which is a horrible thing to do to a child, even an adult child just so at this point from about 1831 to 1835 ish. Edgar goes to Baltimore, and stays with his aunt Maria Clem, and his cousin Virginia, and trigger warning, incest,
and I was like Virginia, wasn’t that his wife?
It sure was Emily. Oh, no. Edgar was inspired by Virginia and not just in a literary Muse sort of a way. In 1836. Edgar married his first cousin, Virginia. And if that sentence is not already gross enough, she was 13. No, he was 27.
No. That’s bad. Yeah, really bad. Yeah, bad girl. And,
yeah. Stop me if I’ve talked about this on the podcast before, but I had this chat. I used to run like back when I was working in community mental health, I co lead an art group art therapy group for teenage girls. Because the therapist, I was leading it with did art, I don’t do art, as we’ve learned, but, but I do therapy with teenage girls, or I did at the time. Now I primarily work with adults. And one of them was talking about some guy who was texting her and he was, I don’t know, I was probably 26 or 27 at the time. And this guy was closer to my age than her age. She was like 17. And I had to lay some hard truths. These girls, yeah, and just said, Hey, I’m just gonna throw this out there. As somebody in this man, adult man’s peer group, if a 26 I don’t know how old he was, let’s say 25. If a 25 year old guy is trying to date a 17 year old girl, it’s because nobody our age wants to date him. Like, that’s just it, he’s not able to have a conversation with an adult woman.
Yeah, well, that’s a nice way to make those girls think like, Oh, he’s probably a loser. And yeah, not want to be part of it. And rather than having to say like, it’s also probable that he hasn’t pedophilic tendencies.
And that’s the thing, like, I don’t really care how old you are, like, once you’re adults, you’re adults. If there’s an age gap, like that’s your business, I don’t care if you’re
20 and 40. Like I
never, you know, like, I
don’t know how your maturity levels can possibly match up. But like some people just they do
what works. Like it’s not for me, but that’s not to say like it’s wrong, or it can’t be for everybody, you know? Yeah, but it’s different if you meet them when they are a child.
Yeah, it’s just it’s a consent thing. Yeah. Can’t consent to that when you’re not mature enough to make that decision.
Agreed. At this point. Edgar Allan Poe focused on his writing. He also did a little vagabonding. He lived for a while in New York. Baltimore, Philadelphia and Richmond, so he’s just kind of ping, ping, ping, ping, ping all over. In 1834. JOHN Allen passed away. And he left Edgar completely out of his will didn’t even say his name. But he did. Well, and he really is because he leaves some of his shed I don’t know exactly how much to an illegitimate child that he had never even met, like john had never met him. But he was like, not Edgar. Let me give it to this guy from some other elicit affair that I helped raise. Yeah. And wow, I listen, I’m glad that he provided for his kid. But foster kids are still your kids. Just sayin. And Edgar was living in poverty at this point. So it’s a dick move. Yeah. Like some of our friends from college, multiple that I’m friends with on social media, actually, a couple from high school are foster parents. And they will always say, my son, my daughter, even if they’re not going to have them permanently, right. It’s just a mindset that you have to be in to be a foster parent,
right? You have to want to give that child the things you would want to give a biological child, absolutely protect them and care for them. That’s the whole point.
Edgar got a break when one of his short stories won a contest in Baltimore. And in 1835, he got a job as an editor in Richmond. So he’s editing stories, but also he’s writing these really scathing reviews of other people’s books and articles and poems. And he was pretty harsh critic. his contemporaries started calling him the tomahawk man, because
like, Oh, my God, the weakest link.
Needless to say, writing aggressive reviews, and also being a little aggressive in real life, led to another job change in 1837. As it does, as it’s one to do, but want to do, what am I trying to say? as one changes jobs? As the turn tables have turned?
My eyes just I’m like, I don’t know what you’re trying to say. For everything, there
is a season, Emily. Okay,
let’s read our inspirational posters later.
Allegedly, at this point, he’s also drinking pretty heavily, which always says great things to a personality, right does for me.
Join us on happier with horrible
patreon.com slash horrible history. So after bumped around from magazine to magazine for the next few years, still living in poverty, ending up in New York City in 1844. I’m guessing Virginia was with him. But you know how it was in the 1800s. They’re like, Oh, wait, I have a wife, Mrs. Poe was also there. So in a really bold move, he wrote a story for the New York sign about a balloon trip across the Atlantic. That was complete bullshit. He just made it up and wrote it for the recognition.
He’s like, I’m a fiction writer, people surprise,
but I’m gonna pretend it’s it’s nonfiction. This is current events, baby. You think that Raven can actually speak you idiots? Well, no, it got him his 15 minutes of fame. But it was his poem in 1845. That made him a household name. And that poem was called The Raven. Did you ever have to read the raven in school?
Well, we had to memorize it. Like we had to, like be able to recite it.
Or were you when you had to do that? Because I feel like I was gonna say Middle School, maybe early High School, teaching that show to kids.
I remember the teacher that I had to do it with and I think he was a ninth eighth grade teacher eighth or ninth. So yeah, yeah, we had to like all go around this room and do like a round of reading. And we each had like a section we had to memorize.
I don’t think I had to memorize that I did in like, third or fourth grade have to have to memorize that Robert Frost poem about the road diverge and the yellow woods. But that’s I don’t remember it now. Um, yeah, it’s a fucked up poem. If you haven’t read it, teaching it to kids is weird. Anywho Edgar Allan Poe was the type of guy who was always looking for controversy. He got into it with another poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, who was a popular author at the time. So Edgar took shots at Henry by saying that he was plagiarizing, which obviously in the literary community is a big No, no. But people took Henry side and then they started to turn against Edgar
What about your poem about the balloon you freakin liar.
Yeah, and I think like I could just pass so many people off at this point because he just had made a lot of enemies by writing the reviews and he was super mean to people. Whereas Henry was a person that everybody likes. So they’re like, no, not Henry must protect, like that meme with the protect button on the keyboard. proptech Yeah. Um, my next slide being probably primarily due to his personality, he struggled financially.
It’s like all the people I know, which is like two people in my whole world. But the like people that are like, I got fired again, everyone’s out to get me I was like, Oh, you’re dummy. You suck.
Unknown Speaker 55:39
Yeah, you’re difficult to work with
maybe that. So? When Edgar published his book of short stories, Tales of the grotesque and arabesque, he got paid with 25 copies of his own book. That is how broke this guy is.
He’s like, I don’t want these. I’m trying to sell these.
These To me,
this doesn’t count as currency.
Unknown Speaker 56:04
It did. burn him for war.
Yes. And he did start to advocate for higher wages for writers and an international copyright law. So they conceal things between countries. His goal was to eventually start his own magazine, but he was never able to get the funding together. So this isn’t about 1845. And it’s arguably the last point in Edgar’s life in which things are going kind of okay. That’s okay. Okay. Yeah, I mean, things are never awesome for this guy, like very tragic life
isn’t so interesting that like, he struggled and suffered and no one liked him. And he’s To this day, a household name like, yeah, it’s like, it wasn’t Van Gogh that like never sold the painting until after he died. And no one ever knows a van Gogh. It’s like, Okay,
he’s weird. Yeah, yeah,
I better not happen to
know if our podcast blows up. after we die. We will hunt every single fucking one of you. All of you are haunted. Fish haunted. Boom, hunted. Okay. So he’s living in New York City. The Raven has made him super famous. He’s lecturing to large crowds. And he’s also able to demand higher pay for his work. He has published two more books this year. And he even bought out the Broadway journal to try to start his own magazine. But if you’ll remember from literally one minute ago, he couldn’t make it work financially. And at this point, Virginia’s health is starting to deteriorate. And there are some rumors circling around that Edgar is having a relationship with a married woman. So in 1846, he’s essentially forced out of New York City like, I don’t know, if he’s blacklisted. I’m assuming it’s not a torch and Pitchfork situation. But like he he feels like he has to leave. So Edgar in Virginia, moved to a little cottage in the country. And in 1847, Virginia died have you’ll never guess what? tuberculosis tuberculosis?
Why are all the women in his life dying of that
is this guy can’t catch a break. Like they all die of TV and in fairness, it was a pretty common way to die.
Yeah, of course,
he was heartbroken about the loss of his cousin slash child bride. But insensitive.
Gonna Say it if you didn’t, yeah.
But Edgar was also physically ill, and continue to struggle financially. And like I said, he drank a lot. But he did his best to keep on writing. At some point in there, he reconnected with his Oji fiance Elmira because she was widowed now and he’s like, hey, me, too. And
rebound rebounds. No backsliding, no backsliding.
They were supposed to get married after Edgar returned from a trip to Philadelphia. But alas, that would never happen. Never more, never more. Now, the time has finally come to talk about his death, which is still an unsolved mystery.
You’re on it with Unsolved Mysteries lately, girl.
I’m so excited about this one because I find it so good. Okay, September 27 1849. Edgar left Richmond for Philadelphia. On the way he stopped in Baltimore and then just disappeared for five days. Nobody knows where he was or what the hell he was doing in Baltimore. But on October 3, he was found in a gutter in front of a bar, okay. He was wearing secondhand clothes, somewhat conscious, delirious and unable to move. He was taken to Washington College Hospital where he spent four days he never regained enough mental clarity to explain how he ended up in the gutter of the streets of Baltimore. He had terrifying hallucinations. The night before he died, he called out for Reynolds. There is no Reynolds like no one can place this person in history or with any connection to Edgar Allan Poe. Hmm. Ultimately loads routes. Yeah. Ultimately, he passed on October 7 1849, at the age of 40. Oh, he was young. He was never happened before 40 my god, his new fiance and mother in law had to read about his death in the papers. Oh, that’s the nightmare. Allegedly, Edgar Allan Poe died of congestion of the brain. But I don’t know what that is. I didn’t Google it. And no one knows how he died. So some people think alcoholism, which seems like a safe bet cirrhosis or something. Yeah. But I also read rabies, epilepsy, the flu, carbon monoxide poisoning. Some people think he was beaten to death, and then he had a brain bleed. So I’m going to tell you a couple theories and a little bit more detail. One popular theory is that Edgar was a victim of something called cooping. So something that I left out on purpose is that the bar in which Edgar was found outside of was used as a pop up polling place. And it was Election Day, a whole
polling place, at least a polling and I’m like pulling one.
Polling Oh, yeah, polling place. And it was Election Day. cooping was a type of voter fraud practice by 19th century gangs. Essentially, they kidnap someone forced them to wear a disguise and then force them to vote for a specific candidate candidate. Then they change their clothes, and then have them keep going to vote for that candidate over and over and over again.
I don’t know why that’s hilarious.
Like, yes, it’s, it’s not me because I’ve got a mustache. Yeah, this time I’m wearing a hat. Exactly. And in Baltimore, in the mid 1800s, voter fraud was rampant. And Edgar was found wearing clothes that didn’t belong to Him. That makes sense. Also, after the victim would vote for the chosen candidate, the game would use alcohol as positive reinforcement for participation. And he loved
while and he was found kind of semi conscious and delirious, right? So if they force Edgar to vote multiple times, he would have been pretty drunk. So that’s one theory. The other theory that I thought was interesting, but less likely, in my opinion, is that Edgar was murdered by his new fiance’s brothers. The theory is that Edgar did make it to Philadelphia. But when he got there, he was ambushed by all my wrist three brothers and told not to marry their sister. And, I mean, honestly, that makes sense. Like, this guy’s kind of a vagrant. He’s lived his entire life in poverty. No one likes her sister’s a widow, she might have some money from life insurance. I don’t really know. But
there are reasons you know, generally, he’s hated by most.
Yeah, he wasn’t like a big guy. So I believe that he could get ambushed by three other dudes. He would have obviously been scared by this. So he disguised himself in new clothes, and then hid in Philadelphia. But then he tried to sneak back to Richmond to marry on my route anyway. But then the brothers intercepted him and Baltimore, beat him up forced whiskey down his throat, which they knew would lead to his death.
yeah, it’s an interesting theory, which is why I included it, but it doesn’t really seem to hold up with the historical evidence, as well as the cooping theory. Keeping line is really fascinating. Interesting, though, it
is also like, what’s, what’s that theory? where it’s like, the most likely or like the easiest answer is? Yes, or Yeah, where it’s like, or do you just go to the bar and get better, you know, like,
Yeah, but like, What? Where was he? For those five days? Nobody knows. Yes.
Yeah, I mean, sex, drugs and rock and roll, man, and
even more cousins to Mariana No. Hey, oh.
Edgar Allan Poe’s last words were Lord helped my poor soul. Oh, that’s sad. It is sad. After he died, the vultures came out. Rufus Griswold was an author that anchor had torn to shreds multiple times and his magazine review days, wrote his obituary. No.
That’s the ultimate rubber
Yeah, he is trying to get back at this dead man for the things that Edgar had written about him. And then this asshole Rufus wrote a meme wire about Edgar aka a biography, in which he stated that Edgar Allan Poe was an alcoholic, friendless womanizing madman with zero scruples.
You can’t write somebody else’s memoir, can you? I mean, while he did I feel like memoir is supposed to be reserved for like your personal memoir.
Yeah, no, I agree. But he did it anyway. He’s just like, Yeah, but it totally backfired because this biography made people run out and buy Iger shit he was written about postmortem keeps him as a household name and influence the way that we still picture Edgar Allan Poe as this like mysterious mccobb no scruples guy really he was just he’s kind of a traumatic figure. Yeah, the marrying his cousin parodies gross Yeah, okay for multiple reasons. But that’s it. That is the life and mysterious death of Edgar Allan Poe fan right?
Here’s my question always with this kind of thing. The van Gogh’s the post like the people that Walt Disney’s Disney, I guess I get it, like he has family where, where do the funds that are bought after death? Like everyone loved his book, or they wanted to learn about him? They were on bought his poems. Where’s the money from that? Go?
Um, I don’t really know. He didn’t have kids, right? No children? I don’t think so. I would imagine like, that’s where you put it back into the community like into the historical society or that but
that’s what it is. It’s like, most of most people like to have a family and then it goes to their trust fund or whatever, but like, yeah, it’s like this is hundreds of years later. Yeah, you don’t know that because people are still freakin teaching kids. The Raven and
Unknown Speaker 1:07:05
I hope you guys liked this. This is so good. Anyone. Thank you. And you can find us like we said we have a website horrible history podcast calm. Where at horrible history pod on social media. Send us your stories. What else?
My whole brain just froze. I have no idea.
Thanks. Thanks so much for listening. Yeah, hopefully
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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